(tm)
Samples:
Radio Road Rage
Say what you will about torture but it works
Moral bankruptcy illustrated
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His taste is all in his mouth
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SEPTEMBER 2: Republican talk radio host Kirby
Wilbur illustrates why government funding for the arts isn't necessary:
"I went to the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert this weekend. That's my taste in
arts. My ticket wasn't subsidized by the federal government."
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Wilbur's show is sponsored by Dramamine for motion sickness.
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Radio Road Rage
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SEPTEMBER 2: Republican talk radio host Kirby
Wilbur divulges his method for quickly leaving a crowded parking lot after
a rock concert: "we set a record for getting out of the Gorge [concert
arena] parking lot. When you drive a big Ford truck with an extended
cab and threaten to run people over, they get out of your way."
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Wilbur's show is sponsored by Shiloh Inns.
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remedial Actuarial Science 101
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SEPTEMBER 7: Official KVI Radio Rabbi Dan Lapin
cites as proof of the existence of an omnipotent god the fact that Mother
Theresa and Princess Diana died the same week - "this could not be a coincidence!"
he exclaims. He says that God killed them both in the same week to
provide a morality lesson (here's the short version of the lesson: Mother
Theresa good, Princess Diana bad). (But if God was really trying
to impress us, wouldn't He have had them die at least on the same exact
day, if not on the same exact minute?)
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For someone who claims to have a math degree, Lapin is surprisingly ignorant
of the basic actuarial fact that Mother Theresa, an 87 year-old woman who'd
already been repeatedly hospitalized for severe heart problems, had a very
high probability of dying in any particular week. No supernatural
interference was needed to coax her along to her heavenly reward.
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Lapin's show is sponsored by "Best Quote" term life insurance.
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Balancing the budget isn't enough to gloat about?
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SEPTEMBER 12: "Independent" talk radio host
Mike Reagan says that President Clinton issued the American
Heritage Rivers executive order to give himself something to gloat
about when he's running the United Nations.
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Reagan's show is sponsored by Nissan.
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They might disagree on who the traitor is
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SEPTEMBER 14: Official KVI Radio Rabbi Dan
Lapin gave a speech last night at the Christian Coalition
(ChristCo) National Conference in Atlanta. Lapin was dismayed,
however, to find Jews picketing the conference, protesting ChristCo's bigoted
and intolerant policies. Lapin calls those Jews "traitors to Judaism"
for protesting against ChristCo.
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Lapin's show is sponsored by Individual Investor Magazine.
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There you go again - 100% wrong
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SEPTEMBER 16: "Independent" talk radio host
Mike Reagan says that alligators are a protected species in Florida and
so can't be hunted or "harvested" for their hides, which are made into
alligator boots, purses, belts, and watchbands.
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This statement is 100% inaccurate. In 1993 alone, according to official
Florida state statistics, "Alligator growers recorded gross income
of $4.43 million in sales of both hides and meat. The 42 active growers
sold 36,900 hides for an average price of $88 per hide, or a total of $3.25
million. Producers also sold 234,000 pounds of meat, about 8 pounds per
gator, for an average of $5.03 per pound." So there's no lack of
alligator hides "harvested" for use in making boots. As for hunting,
Florida also allows
hunting (actually, alligators are trapped). You don't even have
to be a Florida resident.
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Reagan's show is sponsored by Wade Cook's Money Machine.
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Wagging the dog
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SEPTEMBER 22: Limbaugh describes how he lectured
Republican Senator Fred Thompson about the strategy the Republicans should
follow in investigating Democratic campaign financing.
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Limbaugh's show is sponsored by Bose Wave Radio.
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This week, Hitler drops to #2 on the Evil Incarnate Hit Parade
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SEPTEMBER 22: Paula Thomas, the producer of
Republican talk radio host John Carlson's show, calls a Washington State
gun control initiative "evil incarnate."
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Carlson's show is sponsored by Harley Davidson motorcycles.
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Say what you will about torture but it works
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SEPTEMBER 24: Republican talk radio host
Kirby Wilbur announces "say what you will about the Saudi justice system
but it works" regarding the possible beheading of a British woman convicted
of murder in Saudi Arabia.
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Wilbur's show is sponsored by Freedent gum.
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Moral bankruptcy illustrated
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SEPTEMBER 25: Official KVI Radio Rabbi Dan
Lapin is asked by a caller why conservatives oppose protecting kids from
pregnancy and sexual diseases by providing them sex education and condoms.
Rabbi Lapin explains that kids should be taught that "[you] make your decisions
and accept the consequences and shouldn't be protected from those consequences"
and thus shouldn't be provided condoms to protect them from the negative
consequences of sex.
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Rabbi Lapin wasn't so willing to accept the consequences of his own decisions
when he went broke in the late 1980's after speculating in the Los Angeles
real-estate market. Faced with the daunting prospect of repaying
millions of dollars to his investors, some of them members of Lapin's own
congregation, Lapin instead left town and declared bankruptcy.
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Lapin's show is sponsored by dealers of Cadillac, Land Rover, and Lexus
automobiles.
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None of that messing around with juries and that "innocent until proven
guilty" stuff
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SEPTEMBER 30: Republican talk radio host Kirby
Wilbur calls for justice that is "certain and swift and sure like they
have in Saudi Arabia".
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Wilbur's show is sponsored by Heart Scan.
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