Go read the Disclaimer again. I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. Seriously.
Postpartum hormones are really different depending on whether you nurse, and how often and intensively you nurse. Breastfeeding is very protective against the stress of becoming a new parent.
Prolactin: the milk producing hormone
A Discussion of Postpartum Mood Changes
As many as ten percent of mothers suffer from thyroid problems after pregnancy, which can impact establishing breastfeeding. (This sites advise on which drugs are safe and which are not is weighted towards formula-as-normal. Hale considers the drugs in question L2 (safer) and L3 (moderately safe). The concerns about autoimmune disturbances and disorders possibly associated with the drugs are far more common in formula fed babies than breastfed babies, so formula feeding on that basis is irrational.)
If you have anemia in the postpartum period, you may feel completely exhausted and completely exercise intolerant (one flight of stairs, for example, can wipe you out). Your health care provider may or may not catch this.
During the first few days after the birth, the hormones which supported pregnancy drop precipitously. This drop is one component of what triggers milk production, as the hormones which prevented the high levels of prolactin during pregnancy disappear and the prolactin can now take effect.
Postpartum bleeding (lochia) can end in a few days, but more typically ends by the end of the eighth week. Lochia represents bleeding from a open wound in the uterus (where the placenta connected); penetrative sex before bleeding has ended risks infection. Many people think that this attentuated intercourse taboo is still too onerous (for whom?) and propose numerous non-penetrative ways women can engage in sex, ignoring the fact that most women are not at all interested in sex so soon after the birth, and may find sex physically uncomfortable for months or a year after the birth. A word to those who would like to have sex with their partner after she has given birth: let her lead. You can try to negotiate. It can go one of a couple ways. She might tell you no (and, if you're lucky, she won't actually rip your head off and spit down your neck). Count your blessings if she does. She may say yes, and you may find out later (a lot later) just how unhappy she was about saying yes to you. Even letting her lead leaves you at risk; if she's concerned about keeping you around because she desperately needs you economically, she may try to use sex as a way to hold on to you.
If you think I'm basing this all on my personal experience, you are so wrong. I do research, and I listen to people. In case I'm not getting through: Do not ask for sex with a woman who had a baby until at least two months have gone by. If she offers, tell her you don't need it, and emphasize how very much you love and cherish her and are in awe of her for what she has done and is doing.
Hair falls out (because more grew during the pregnancy, and now, that isn't happening any more) a few months after the birth. This goes on for days or weeks. It's somewhat depressing, can be quite messy with long hair, and is a slight hazard for the baby.
When a woman returns to her prepregnancy weight depends on a huge range of factors. Weight is irrelevant. She probably won't be back to what she considers her prepregnancy body until a minimum of a year after the birth, potentially longer if she breastfeeds for an extended period of time. Her fitness level may be as high or higher than before getting pregnant much earlier in this process. Other sources may suggest shorter time frames. Do not believe them. Discourage other postpartum women from believing them. They just mess with us, and encourage choices that tend to end breastfeeding, damage attachments to infant and partner and endanger health.
Being able to grow a new human and feed that human from one's body is an incredible ability. You have to be quite the tool of masculine-unchangingness to think this -- and what goes with it -- somehow detract from a woman. She is exhibiting abilities you did not have a chance to see earlier in your relationship. They may or may not be convenient for you, but they are amazing. Try to be a decent human being and show your respect, appreciation and love throughout this period of her life, rather than trying to rush her through it in an effort to get her back to the way she seemed to you before.
Copyright 2006 by Rebecca Allen.
Created February 6, 2006 Updated March 8, 2006