Go read the Disclaimer again. I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. Seriously.
Alice Miller describes and analyzes what she calls poisonous pedagogy, and explores the long term effects of beating children. Over the course of her long and productive career, Miller's position has become ever more radical, so that by the most recent book, she no longer advocates forgiveness as a goal. It's wonderful to see someone have the guts to say it in print. It may be uncomfortable to refuse to forgive one's own parents for beating one in childhood, particularly when one can clearly see why they are the way they are. But I believe that explanations only go so far; those who continue to practice and advocate what is so clearly wrong cannot be forgiven until they at least begin to change, and even then, hurrying to forgive is counterproductive for all concerned. As long as we forgive those who beat us, we are all too likely to beat someone else to work out the rage that inevitably resulted from those beatings. Better to keep that rage firmly pointed at the perps and at least save those who come after us.
Copyright 2006 by Rebecca Allen.
Created March 4, 2009 Updated March 4, 2009