1995
Canadian Regional Championships 1995
Canadian Regional Championships
Last modified: 01/14/2015 21:25:18
Version 2.5.1
"So close...and yet...so far..." These words echoed through mind as I drifted in and out of consciousness. The William Shatner school of bizarre acting haunts even my dreams.
Phantom flashes of pain still wrack my body. They only serve to jar my memories of the day I came so close to tasting his blood.
The arena was cold -- a perfect temperature for revenge. My vehicle, the Burning Chicken was ready to roast RJ's feathers off. With 30 proximity-fused, radio & contact triggered, napalm mines, I was going to pen that bird in. Nothing should have stopped me from making penguin stew out of him.
But that stinking bird slid into the arena with a few tricks up his stubby little wings; two ATGs with APFSDS ammo to be precise. After expending all of my mines to escape a maniac with a front-mounted flamethrower, I was face-to-face with my hated foe. Madness struck me -- I rammed him head-on. The result of HMG vs. 2 ATGs & Midsized vs. Station Wagon left me weaponless and at his mercy.
As I bravely attempted to make strategic withdrawal, that scum blew off my wheels off! This was a shame I could not bear! Enraged, I leaped screaming from my chariot and skated towards my foe with my trusty hatchet in hand. Slowly passing by my immobile vehicle, RJ had not anticipating this insane attempt. Seeing the blood lust my eyes must have panicked him; he turned and tried to escape my righteous vengeance. But he had come too close.
RJ tossed a grenade, but I shrugged off the blast. Nothing would stop me from tasting his blood. I caught up to his lumbering station wagon and climbed on top. My first blow breached his top armour. RJ threw another grenade, but I laughed off the pain. Nothing would stop me! Again and again, I hacked at his component armour while RJ threw grenades that only fueled my hunger. NOTHING would stop me! Vainly, RJ swung his wagon this way and that, but I stubbornly hung on. NOTHING! Finally, I punctured his component armour and was ready to end my nightmares.
Being so close to tasting victory after so long caused my saliva pour into RJ's breach. But even while swimming in the pool of my spit, RJ grinned that hideous little grin of his. Screaming in rage, I failed to notice him slip another grenade out the window. Raising my blade to end this pest, I prepared to deliver the final blow. NOTHING...Okay, something stopped me...
RJ's grenade ripped through the shredded remains of my body armour. Suddenly, I no longer had the strength to hold to my blade, to RJ's top, to anything! My vengeance was denied again. Back to my icy grave did I slid.
But...I have returned! RJ's grin still sears at my soul! He shall never escape the righteous vengeance of Bruce! Bwahhhhahahahahhhhaha!!!
Fear is what helped RJ stay alive that day. N oone was crazy enough to take on a vehicle with 2 ATGs (except Bruce). Also, everyone was so scared of losing control on the ice that they all moved slowly. This gave RJ the perfect opportunity to blow off wheels without being hampered by high speed modifiers. Only the nutty attempts by Bruce challenged RJ's supremacy in the arena.
| Originated by: | R.J. | Date Created: | January 8, 1995 |
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| Statistics: | Cost: | $30,000.00 |  |
| Weight: | 6,554.25 lbs. |
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| Ice Handling Class: | 4 |
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| Top Speed: | 60.0 mph |
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| Acceleration: | 5.0, +5.0 with Turbocharger |
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| Body: | Station Wagon, X-Hvy. Chassis, Ice Racing
Suspension |
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| Wheels: | 2 Heavy Ice Skates, 2 PR Ice Tires, 2-10 pts.
Wgs, ABS |
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| Engine: | 150 cid GE, Multi-Barreled Carburetor,
Turbocharger, 4 gallon Duelling Tank |
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| Weapons: | 2 ATGs w/APFSDS ammo, Dual Magazine w/APFSDS,
LMG w/IC ammo, 6 Foam Dischargers |
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| Accessories: | Hi-res SWC, 4 Links, 2 Bumper Triggers |
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| Armour: | 178 pts. Plastic Armour, 10 pts. CA around
Engine, 10 pts. CA around Tank, 10 pts. CA around Driver |
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| Driver: | 50 lbs. Driver, Body Armour, ABV, 7 Ex. Grs.,
1 Impact Fuse, Hatchet, SMG, Folding Stock, 1 Holster |
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This Division 30 battle consisted of 6 opponents. The AVRO members were: Bruce, AE & JS. The VIPER members were: RJ, CE & JH.
In the end, the point spread was: RJ=43 pts., AE=28 pts.; CE=0 pts.; JS=0 pts.; Bruce=-6 pts.; and JH=-18 pts.
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JS and CE were the first to destroy themselves in a head-on ram. From the start, they charged each other while firing. This led to a rather messy ending in near the middle of the arena.
JH used an ADQ technicality to bring in a front-mounted HD flamethrower vehicle. This caused everyone to run from this pyromaniac. Confident in his firepower, JH jumped several times. The multiplier helped jump to the front of the pack. Unfortunately, he had forgotten how dangerous the jump multipliers were. RJ blew off his wheels, JH was dumped to bottom. To add insult to injury, AE then killed off JH by pushing into his immobile vehicle into his own mines.
In a repeat of the 1994 Club Championships, the hatchet attack was used. In the great AVRO tradition, Bruce hopped on top RJ's vehicle and merrily began chopping at him. A total of four grenades were needed to destroy this annoying pest.
The 1995 Canadian Regional Championships ended 50 mines laid, a rather large debris patch in the middle, and RJ victorious once again. JH was later tortured horribly for bringing in that horrid design (he was fed Clorets and really, really bad pizza).
This arena was the final prototype of the Ice Arena. Bullseyes were removed due to their complexities.
Car Wars, AADA, Autoduel, Uncle Albert's, and the AADA logo
are registered trademarks of Steve Jackson Games Incorporated.
All names of other products published by Steve Jackson Games
Incorporated are registered trademarks or trademarks of Steve
Jackson Games Incorporated, or used under license.
Reprinted by the Seattle
Washington Autoduel Team, January 21, 2015
Updated January 21, 2015
Original URL: http://avro.simplenet.com/carwars/reports/1995_regional.html