1994 Canadian Regional Championships
1994 Canadian Regional Championships
Last modified: 01/14/2015 21:24:51
Version 2.5.1
Jake: "...What a mess! Are you sure there's something still salvageable out here?"
Elwood: "Don't know. Cameras showed it flying somewhere out here. We just gotta poke around a bit more, that's all."
Jake: "Why does he keep doing this? Is he crazy or something? Last time, he was blown clear cross the arena when he charged a car with an axe. Maybe he's been cloned too much."
Elwood: "Don't think so. Ever since that new sponsor signed on, he's been acting mighty strange. Keeps screaming for revenge."
Jake: "At least we're kept well fed. That new sponsor keeps giving us free samples of his 'Soy Spam'. It's supposed to have twice the fat and cholesterol than the old Spam."
Elwood: "Don't care. Just watch your step. Bruce ate a lot that stuff."
Jake: "Huh? What do you mean? [Squish!] Aaaaaahhhh! [Thump!] Euuu... I think I found it. But I think I mangled most of the frontal lobe."
Elwood: "Don't worry about it. I've done that a few times to Bruce's brain myself. Just do what I do. Take your free sample of Soy Spam and mold it into the missing areas. See, perfect fit."
And so, Bruce's brain was taken to Brass Cross and his memories were transferred into his new clone. Fortunately for Jake & Elwood, the Soy Spam replacement was not noticed. The only consequences of note were that Bruce was unable to remember that fateful day and he swears his revenge against RJ even more violently than before.
Unfortunately, most of the records of the battle had been erased. All that can be remembered is that RJ won and Bruce lost in a particularly gruesome fashion.
| Created by: | R.J. | Date Created: | April 16, 1994 |
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| Statistics: | Cost: | $29,992.00 |  |
| Weight: | 4,199.20 lbs. |
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| Ice Handling Class: | 4 (+1) |
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| Top Speed: | 65.0 mph |
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| Acceleration: | 5.0 |
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| Body: | X-Hvy. Trike, Reversed X-Hvy Chassis, Ice
Racing Suspension, Spoiler, Airdam |
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| Wheels: | 2 FP Heavy Ice Skates, 1 Solid Ice Tire, 10
pts. FP Cycle WG, 2 Fake WH, HD Brakes, ABS, Heavy Duty
Shocks |
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| Engine: | 100 cid GE, Turbocharger, 3 gallon Duelling
Tank |
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| Weapons: | 4 LMG w/IC ammo, HDFOJ, 2 Foam Dischargers |
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| Accessories: | Hi-res SWC, 2 Links |
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| Armour: | 10 pts. LR Metal Armour, 145 pts. FP Plastic
Armour, 10 pts. FPCA around Engine, 10 pts. FPCA around
Tank, 10 pts. FPCA around Driver |
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| Driver: | 50 lbs. Driver, Body Armour, ABV, 3 Ex. Grs.,
Hatchet, SMG w/9 shots, Extended Clip, Folding Stock, 2
Holsters |
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This Division 30 ice battle consisted of at least 6 opponents. The AVRO members were: Bruce, RJ, JS & AE, . The SMEGMA members were: BG, BT, and MS. It took place in the newly renovated Ice Arena.
Unfortunately, Bruce doesn't remember anymore than this other than the splitting headache he had afterwards.
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Incorporated are registered trademarks or trademarks of Steve
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Reprinted by the Seattle
Washington Autoduel Team, January 21, 2015
Updated January 21, 2015
Original URL: http://avro.simplenet.com/carwars/reports/1994_regional.html