Let's analyze this for a moment. Why do thousands of well-educated middle-class people all across America stand behind police tape to be the first to get a piece of software?

Was it because Bill Gates bought out the entire run of the London Times? (wrong answer beep - Naaaap!)

Was it because the Empire State Building was lit with Microsoft corporate colors? (Naaaap!)

Was it the huge floating barge in Sydney harbor with the 40 foot high Windows 95 logo? (Naaaap!)

Was it because for this one day the richest man in America controls the vertical - controls the horizon - controls the Rolling Stones? (Naaaap!)

Or was it something more subtle - a spontaneous demonstration of gratitude that finally there was something else to talk about beside the UN conference on women - and which movies the Christian right hates? (Boong [maybe right answer sound]) No! (Naaaap!)

First this was not the most hyped event of all times. The Napoleonic wars was much bigger. No, the real reason this computer program has created such a response; the real reason decent God fearing computer users would leave their homes and line up to buy software at midnight is because these are people whose computers have never worked right!!! These are people who have spent three thousand dollars an a machine that has been driving them nuts! If your PC was working fine - would you get in line at midnight to buy something that turns it into an Apple Macintosh?! No! But when you spend three thousand dollars on something that's been giving you a headache for the last three years - eighty nine bucks for the aspirin is cheap therapy - if it works of course!

Dave Ross