Spoken

"Is she really pushing him to run for President?"
"Well, there she is, let's ask her."
"Arianna, is that Newt's book you're reading?"
"Uh-huh."
"Gee, it must be great being the queen of the Republican Revolution, is he taking you to the GOPAC fund-raiser tonight?"
"Uh-uh."
"By the way, where'd you meet him?"

Sung

I saw him play beach volleyball
He spiked the ball so forcefully
You get the picture? (Yes, we see)
That's when I fell for... the Speaker of The House

The liberals were always putting him down (down, down)
They said he's a pompous, hot-headed clown (well, we all see that he's a hot-headed clown)
They said he was a lout,
but I saw he had clout
So I sucked up to... the Speaker of The House

One day he rode on Air Force One
Clinton was up in first class having fun (How could he think he's more important than Newt?)
Newt had to ride in coach with Dole
He had to use the back stairs - that was so cold
He felt insulted... the Speaker of The House

Spoken

I saw him cry when he got off the plane,
and then he swore
he'd cause a budget train wreck
to even the score

As we rode in his limousine to the Capital
I begged him to compromise with the President,
but he said "No, no, no, no, no..." (two train whistles heard approaching, collision-bound)
Look out, look out, look out! (train crash)

Sung

He shut down the government,
what could I do
Now his chance to run for President was through
There went my plan to be First Lady
I'll have to find someone less shady
He's all washed up now... the Speaker of the House

Whoo, ooh ooh ooh
The Speaker of the House, he shut the Government down (Down, down, down)
The Speaker of the House, he shut the Government down (Down, down, down)