The Refuter's Instruction Kit: Free

So, you have a computer and you now find yourself sitting in your dark lonely room night after night with the glow of the monitor on your face and your limp, sweaty palmed, hand on your mouse.

You tried the 'chat rooms' and were disappointed when you found your true love was a pervert twice your age and the same sex. Now you're scrolling through the internet and you'd like to participate but you don't have ANYTHING to say.. Well, don't be sad.. Don't be left out..

YOU CAN BE A REFUTER!!!

Being a REFUTER is easy, fun, and requires only a little basic knowledge, such as:

1. How to copy and paste.
2. How to follow a post.
3. How to find the break between paragraphs.

With the following simple guidelines, you too can see your name next to post after post. You WILL get e-mail from people you don't know, and, best of all, people will notice you.

To be a REFUTER, you must first find someone who creates a post and has something to say. The wonderful thing is you don't have to know anything about the poster's subject.. just follow the provided outline:

Beginner's techniques

A. ACT OFFENDED OR INDIGNANT
This makes you look like a victim and can even sometimes draw the sympathy of the poster. You can copy and paste any one of the following statements after the poster's first paragraph:
"You can't be serious!"
"I am steamed!"
"This is a sin against Occam's razor!"

B. DOGMATICALLY LABEL THE POSTER'S STATEMENTS
No reason for these statements is required:
"This is rubbish!"
"This makes absolutely no sense!"
"This is rhetorical twaddle!"
"Wrong!"
"You are being dishonest"

C. REFER THE POSTER TO THE LIBRARY
This gives the impression that you have been there yourself.
"Have you done ANY background reading?"
"You should read some literature about the subject before you make assertions!"
"Full bibliographic references to the peer-reviewed scientific literature, please!"

  

Advanced techniques

Play on the poster's insecurities or totally ignore what the poster writes.

A. SAY THE POSTER DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
These comments should be placed after the second or third paragraph.
Pick any.
"So What?" OR "So?"
"Is there a typographical error or are you simply writing gibberish?"
"This is tiresome!"
"What is the point to all this?"

B. DEMAND TO SEE RESEARCH AND NUMBERS
"Please post names and institutional affiliations with full bibliographic references to publications in the scientific literature!"

C. SLUR THE POSTER
"This is Racist!"
"You are a mental defective!"
"You are a fool!"
"You are a moral degenerate!"
"You have been spewing your garbage over the internet!"

If you are suspicious of being abused by a REFUTER, simply delete your words until there is nothing left but the comments of the challenger. If the comments have no substance or amount to little more than one or two syllable words:

You have been REFUTED!

Questions or Comments

Copyright©Alden Bacuzmo

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